WHY do we say those three magic words then? (Fine, those three words are I LOVE YOU).
1. We want to prove that we mean it. We want to tell that person that we love him/her. More often than not, it's the hormone. Don't forget the fact that humans are animals and partially controlled by hormones too. Therefore, when you are almost or on the bed, don't believe those three words. See if that person still tells you the next hours or next day after the you-know-what session.
2. When actions are quieter than words. We have all the imagination that how we "love" a person, but due to time, financial, motivation and action limitations, we choose to verbalize instead of showing your affection by ACTIONS. Sometimes, we are just a whole bunch of lazy folks.
3. It's EASIER to keep a relationship warm that way. We all feel a little bit insure when the other half doesn't say those three words often. But when we don't really feel like it, we can just Whatsapp by using emoticon or "muacks" in text. Yea, at the beginning of the relationship, it might be genuinely expressed. After few weeks/months, the sender is probably emotionless when he/she sends that. This condition might not be true, if the message is topped up with some sweet actions like cooking breakfast or occasional surprises.
NOW, actually it just comes to the purposes of me writing this post.
DO YOU ACTUALLY SAY "I LOVE YOU" TO YOUR PARENTS?
WHY DON'T YOU THEN?
1. Blame the culture. As Asians born in Asian and raised the Asian ways, we are not taught to express our caring emotions verbally. We are shy, we choose the words we speak to our parents, and definitely not to shock them with those three words.
2. It's ok, I show with actions. I am quite happy to know that, most of the people around me will really practice the "family comes first" motto. Whenever they have outings, they will consult their parents first, before promising to their friends. I couldn't understand that when I was younger, now I do. It's a form of cherishing the moment you have with your family, because eventually, they are the people who will be there for you, physically, mentally, emotional and FINANCIALLY. You don't break up with your parents and they ask you to return all the money back to them. If yes, you better file for bankruptcy then.
3. You don't realize it. Parents is our comfort zone, we think they were there, they are there, they will be there and they SHOULD be there for us. Just because you are here in this world because of them, doesn't mean they owe you and need to be responsible for all the miserable things that happen to you. You should be thankful for the life that's given to you. A life for you to experience the joy, pain, happy, bitter, fun, sorrow moments, to become who you are today.
4. You feel ashamed about your parents. As 80's kids, more than 50% of our parents, weren't really highly educated, my parents even stopped their education at primary school. I still remember when our family condition was quite poor back then, my mum used a glass jar from those used fermented tofu containers to bring soup for me to the school before afternoon class. I was really feeling ashamed that time because other friends had their soups in nice thermo container. But when now I recall, that's possibly the best that she could have given to me that time. Now, I hold my mum's hand when we go out, until she feels embarrassed by me!
5. You don't have time. We find all sort of excuses to set appointments with friends, partners, colleagues, but we often forget our parents at home. They spend all their lives to raise us to abandon them at home while we enjoy ourselves in our vacation.
Now, scroll up and look at the picture in this article, do you think a lover could do that? I have seen people who are together for more than 10 years broke up and hate each other. But do you see parents hate you forever for all the bad things you have done (and still doing)?
It's Mother's day this Sunday. You don't have to bring your parents to fancy overpriced expensive restaurants and make them get stuck in the jam. Just be home, make them a dinner, ask them what they would like to do. Their wishes are mostly the same - "Just be home and accompany us".
By end of this post, I should feel ashamed of myself, to only be able to go back to see my mum twice/thrice maximum in a year.
Yes, I don't say "I love you" to my mum face to face. But I did twice over the phone, and my mum just didn't respond to me I think.
Mum, I love you.
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